I am absolutely loving where you're going with this. Understandably, what's happened to your aunt frightens you but instead of running from it you made up your mid to reach out to her. I'm not your Dad (even though I'm old enough to be) but if I was I'd tell you how proud I am of you. I think I'll tell you anyway... "I'm very proud of you." Now you're truly seeing your aunt as another person with her own life, struggles and feelings instead of as a "threat" to YOUR sanity. You said
"I think I will send her the link and try to get her involved. Maybe by
seeing my efforts and involvment in our individual struggles will
empower her to make a difference in her own struggle and life."
... and just you wait while the "magic" happens! It will make a difference in YOUR own struggle and life too."
This is what "WE ARE ONE." really means. It's all about reaching out of your own life and touching the lives of others.
Let me say it again... "I'm so proud of you." (Please introduce me to your aunt.)
I'm old enough to be your Daddy too, so I can tell you that I am so proud of you too. The fact that you haven't had Type 1 as long as many of us here, but that you have taken the initiative through Juvenation, your bloggling, your other websites and your other activities to dive right in and make a real difference is nothing short of extraordinary.
When you said in your message,
"I appreciate her post because it makes me think that I definitely don't
say thank you, or acknowledge the nice things people can do for me
enough"
I immediately said to myself that I want to express both on my own behalf and on belf of all the Juvenation members (because I'm sure they feel this way) our heartfelt thanks to you for everything you've done and continue to do. We all thank you and love you very much.
Now you have gone and made me all emotional! There is no need to thank me... ever! I enjoy doing all of these things. How do you think I get through living everyday! haha Because of all of you!
As for your comment... I just sent my aunt my first reaching out message to her ever. I was definitely stepping out of my comfort zone by doing it but I hope she sees my love for her instead of being insulted.
Of course I did not mention anything about her having a hard time managing her diabetes because to be honest, I don't know if she still does have issues. She might just be dealing with the years of not knowing how to take care of herself or the loneliness she felt.. or maybe her endo and diabetic team just didn't know how to advise her! Who knows.
By joining this site, I vowed to try to facilitate accepting diabetes and help people who needed it. I've said this many times but.. I've never felt as good about myself with diabetes as I have since I joined juvenation and met all you wonderful fellow diabetics.
You have all made this so much easier to handle and accept. I don't feel as alone as I used to.. and now I have a place to go when I can't handle it anymore or just need to ask "What is going on with my BG this morning!?".
I am so very thankful today.. I couldn't count how many times I've said thank you even if I tried, but I don't mind.. I mean it!
If I could I would try to get EVERY T1 in the world to join... well at least Canada and the US. I begin my journey to promote juvenation... TODAY. *fingers crossed my aunt joins so I can keep my promise haha*
Paul, I have a great deal of mutual respect for you also. Thanks for being such a great person.
First , I believe I reacted on my emotions as mentioned in another post.. I already have early stages of kidney disease and I've had a mini stroke this year. It's not that I'm afraid of the complications, it is the concern of developing more of them. I don't want to be reminded by a non-d person of what I can/may suffer from in the future, my personal feeling of course. Another thing is that I wrote a second post following the initial one. In the second as you may have read I suggested that she read Mandi's " girlfriend of a type 1..." post. that the responses there may answer some of her concerns. I was still offended by some of her remarks but I felt it might be a case of unawareness or miseducation. So I offered what I thought might have been a good place for her to start the learning process.
My emotions get the best of me from prior experiences, I know I need to let go of the hurt but it's hard for me to do that. here's a few examples: 1) When I was a kid in elementary school,other kids always said "ew, get away I don't want to catch your diabetes" even though I knew that they wouldn't/couldn't. 2) In high school there was a guy I really liked and he told me we could hang out one weekend. Well, needless to say that didn't happen, when I called to find out why he never returned my calls. That monday I found out that he said " I will never go out with her, she might die or have a seizure, I don't want to be around that kind of thing!!!. I was extremely hurt to say the least, he wasn't worth my time anyways. Today I have a wonderful guy in my life who has never let the fact I have T1D make any decision for him concerning us. I love him dearly for that. I'm kinda emotional just writing this fighting back the tears. 3) 2 years ago I was working in a retail store with a bunch of people who had become my friends. There was a girl that they newly hired and she was just flat out LAZY !!! Always looking for an excuse to leave, one day she made a huge mistake !! She lied and told them that she was a type 1 diabetic and said she was too low to stay at work. She was not a diabetic. I found out because as she was leaving for the day I happen to be coming in for my shift. I was standing by the time clock while she was in the back of the store when another associate told me what this hussy had said. I walked into the managers office, I am not a fighter, and told them the get her the "F" out of the buiding before I beat the living s *%t out of her !!!I was furious.... Well they told her I knew and she busted her butt to get out of the store before I caught up with her. I probably would've been fired possibly in jail when I was finished with her. She was never seen there again. I HOPE she gets T1D and suffers , pays dearly for what she did that day. Yea, it's a little harsh but hey I feel if you lie, karma will come back and bite you time's 2. There were a few other things but I will end my "run in's" at this point.
So if i'm quick to respond negatively to a post like that, I have reason to do so. But once I consider the other side of this situation I offer my opinion of where they can find answers. I won't apoligize for having a negative first reaction but I hope that in the future non-d people will have consideration for us. This is our place to seek out others just like us to share our stories,struggles and triumphs. We shouldn't have to read stuff like that, we have enough to worry about already.
I hope that I didn't offend anyone . I apoligize if I have done so.
uhm Alayna, you 1. do not have to read this if you do not want to and 2. she is related to someone with diabetes in that she's a gf of a diabetic. she has every right to come here with her hopes fears and questions, that IS what this place is about. we all live with "our own fears"... but are you so selfish to think that the other people in your life do not have these same fears for you? worry about you? and also need a place to outlet those emotions to other people (like diabetics and the other people on this site who care about them) JUST LIKE THE REST OF US DO?
I think it is amazing this girl is showing this level of concern and want for education on diabetes for the sake of her boyfriend. I can't imagin showing someone how you care more than trying to understand the ins and outs of a disease that otherwise you knew nothing about.
The people who are close to us sometimes have the best insight and can see things we do not. whether it with our diabetes or other aspects of our lives. She is certainly right in saying that. Even my boyfriend can sometimes see my blood sugar dropping before i feel it by the way i start to act. The rest of his family has no clue what's going on with me, but they try.
And i am happy to have people liek that in my life. He has expressed his concerns and fears to me, and on top of my "own fears" i understand where he is coming from.
The people close to us as family friend or significant other could very well just not give a flying f**k and ignore the disease, or just not date us because it's to much effort and work.
Ans yes we as a whole require more "work and effort" than the average joe. there is a lot more going on with our health and lives because of diabetes. And really you have never gotten sick of everything you have to o to take care of yourself? never just wished it would all go away but know it wont? tired of pricking your fingers and jabbing yoursef with needles and carb counting the littlest thing you're eating????
If no, then good for you. but if it wears you out sometimes then how could you not imagin the other people in your life do not get just as weary of the whole thing. At least you know you're not alone.
Jessica, The original post that Alayna had responded to is no longer posted, the writer removed it. You might've had a different opinion if you'd read it. i just wanted to let you know that. No disrespect meant to you.
I have re-posted Roxy's post underneath: I thought it broached topics that were very fair for a significant other to have. Before Mandi I had some girls that I dated that struggled mightily with dating someone that could have a low spell or that had to stop their lives for my low-spells. It was a struggle. I think this was a case of a girl who had legitimate concerns about her relationship and boyfriend. Since it was removed by the author and I'm not quite sure if I even have the authority to do so, but since it was such a hot-button issue and it provoked so much really rich dialogue I thought I would re-post it. Gina, if you don't want it up, I will take it down. But here is Roxy's post in it's entirety.
By roxygirl22 in At Home
Hey,
I
read your blog...just found this website randomly and I totally get
where you are coming from. I'm a girlfriend of a boy who has diabetes
(type 1). He's had it since he was 6. He isn't very responsible with
his eating right and doing insulin at the right time...(he is getting
better but has his moments). I'm very scared when I think about the
future... am I going to be 25 and he's going to be blind or have kindey
failure? You know we all think about that and it's not that selfish...
its hard. People always tell me the negatives while my mom's friend's
husband has the same thing and her mom always told her...one day you
might get cancer and do you want him to leave because of that...? So,
that's a good way to look at it. I love Cory (my boyfriend) very much
and I hate when he goes low. He twitches like mad and sometimes flips
out on me... and arguing with me about how he doesn't want to eat the
gummie which is a cracker in reality and all this stuff. It usually
happens at like 4 am and so I'm like exhausted and can't sleep and then
gotta get up with him and get him back (and it sucks for us because
they go low, are normal, go back to sleep like nothing ever happened
and he doesn't thank me either)...sometimes I wish he would (I could
just let him lay there but I'm not mean and I love him). Its just
really hard and we're both 21 and its really freaking scary at this age
to be going through that. I push him to be strict on his diabetes but
sometimes he's tooo hot headed to do it. I know he's scared but if he'd
just freaking do it the right way, we wouldn't have to be so scared
about it. I know a lot of people who have diabetes of types 1 and 2 but
no one is as bad as he is...that's what makes me even more nervous. I
have no one to really talk to about this ...see where I'm coming from
so it'd be cool if we could chat about this??
Don't get
me wrong, he is a good guy, not as cool as yours, but I do love him and
I just want the best for us. I'm just really SCARED about our future.
I
read your blog...just found this website randomly and I totally get
where you are coming from. I'm a girlfriend of a boy who has diabetes
(type 1). He's had it since he was 6. He isn't very responsible with
his eating right and doing insulin at the right time...(he is getting
better but has his moments). I'm very scared when I think about the
future... am I going to be 25 and he's going to be blind or have kindey
failure? You know we all think about that and it's not that selfish...
its hard. People always tell me the negatives while my mom's friend's
husband has the same thing and her mom always told her...one day you
might get cancer and do you want him to leave because of that...? So,
that's a good way to look at it. I love Cory (my boyfriend) very much
and I hate when he goes low. He twitches like mad and sometimes flips
out on me... and arguing with me about how he doesn't want to eat the
gummie which is a cracker in reality and all this stuff. It usually
happens at like 4 am and so I'm like exhausted and can't sleep and then
gotta get up with him and get him back (and it sucks for us because
they go low, are normal, go back to sleep like nothing ever happened
and he doesn't thank me either)...sometimes I wish he would (I could
just let him lay there but I'm not mean and I love him). Its just
really hard and we're both 21 and its really freaking scary at this age
to be going through that. I push him to be strict on his diabetes but
sometimes he's tooo hot headed to do it. I know he's scared but if he'd
just freaking do it the right way, we wouldn't have to be so scared
about it. I know a lot of people who have diabetes of types 1 and 2 but
no one is as bad as he is...that's what makes me even more nervous. I
have no one to really talk to about this ...see where I'm coming from
so it'd be cool if we could chat about this??
Don't get
me wrong, he is a good guy, not as cool as yours, but I do love him and
I just want the best for us. I'm just really SCARED about our future.
[/quote]
I don't get what the problem with this is. She has some valid concerns. If Cory is truly not doing what he's supposed to take care of himself and it is causing problems for her (and him), then she's in a tough spot. I don't if know any of you have ever been in a relationship with someone who has a serious medical condition and doesn't take care of it like I have, but it sucks. You are often having to bail this person out for a lot of un necessary
problems that could be avoided if they'd just take care of themselves
better. I eventually had to dump this person because she literally would have drug the whole family down with her.
If the blindness/kidney failure thing (my greatest fear) were tossed around militiously, then it'd be different. But it wasn't as far as I can tell.
Cory is lucky to have roxygirl22. If he really isn't taking as good a care of himself as he should, I hope he cleans his act up.
OK! Look, I didn't mean to start a stink. I read that post last night and I absolutely did NOT like it. It hurt and made me feel like I am a monster of sort. If something upsets me, I am going to let that person know and that is exactly what I did and I stand by what I wrote.
Now, I think that the people on this website have been amazing and super supportive. Especially Paul and Andree and plenty others :).
I do have people in my life who worry about me and care for me and I am super fortunate. But, we can't live life worried, you know? I know I worry to death on things that I should put to rest because its taking too much of my happiness. I don't need someone else planting more worries in my head. I just need support, and thats what I get here on this website, from my husband, and my wonderful, wonderful family.
On the flip side, my folks and my husband are super fortunate to have me in their lives, because that support and love they give me always comes full circle. I will never be able to forget a love like theirs or from my husband and I will never take it for granted on purpose.
Jessica, yes, I do get tired of being a human pin cushion, but I am the type of person that if I stay down too long, then it takes some time before I can recover. You're right, I didn't have to read it, but it was there and I did. I don't want other people to be effected by my disease or for them to grow weary of it. Its mine and I will deal and when I can't, I will let them know. You are right, those around us can have insight on how we act or even react to certain things.
Basically guys, I am scared being a diabetic. I am scared of it. I don't like what "can" happen. I'm sitting here with tears welling up in my eyes because its scary, and its a part of me forever.
Hi Alayna,I think you sound like a true and honest person.The world needs more like you.You have a right to voice your feelings.It did come across hurtful.I know it was not meant to be that way.You stay strong and feel better
I just want to address one more facet of this multi-faceted thread, and that is the subject of our fear of complications. This will be quick.
I sincerely believe that there is very little difference today between the long-range health outcome of people like us with well-managed and controlled Type 1 diabetes and the general population. I emphasize the word "today" because, as you know, it wasn't this way in the past (certainly before the discovery of insulin), and the words "well-managed and controlled" because most of the scary horror stories you hear about concern people who didn't do enough to manage their illness. Today we are fortunate enough to have the knowledge and tools to take responsibility for our futures.
Consider the fact that most people who are stricken by lung cancer are people who have either unconsciously or consciously been unable to manage their smoking habit. Or, a great many people who are injured or die in auto accidents are those who choose to drink and drive or to get on the road when their too sleepy to control their car. When it comes to smoking or driving intoxicated or sleepy, you'd surely agree we all have a choice. The same is true for Type 1 diabetes... you have a choice to either take advantage of the knowledge and tools we have today..., or walk the tightrope.
I had a heart attack and open heart surgery in 2000 when I was just 48 years old. Was it because of my diabetes? I don't know but I DO know that my father had his first heart attack at 36 years old. He didn't have diabetes. Also, being 56 years old and a Type 1 diabetoc for 39 years, I've already outlived many of my contemporaries, many of whom neglected their health by drinking, or smoking, or drugs, or racing on their motorcycles.
Your fear is based largely on two falsehoods: 1) The way things used to be in the past and 2) What happens to diabetics who don't take care of themselves. And this applies to the general population as well. Fear Is Stress. Fear = Stress. Your prognosis today as a person with well-managed and controlled diabetes is excellent. Like I said, it's probably as good as the general population. And guess what? It's only going to get better and better until we have the cure!
I'm glad there was the repost from that girl. I hadn't read it and from the comments I and expected some horrible, insensitive posting but I really didn't get that at all. Don't get me wrong I know that diabetes is serious, but it seems like some people can really defensive, really quickly. This thread looks more like a Dr. Phil episode than an open forum of opinions. I mean I'm glad the people raise awareness for diabetes to find a cure and I love coming to this website so that I can find people that can relate to me on a personal level but sharing doesn't mean we should get made or feel sorry for ourselves. Maybe diabetes just hasn't affected me emotionally the way it has others.
Roxygirl 22,Sorry to start this up again,but I thought of this and wanted to tell you.Years ago I too got myself in hot water over words.I was responding to a letter written to me.I was just trying to put my thoughts out.I wrote them one way and they were read another way.I got back a letter that would have burst into flames if given the chance.From that I learned that words can be written one way and read another way.In person you can hear expression in a voice,read body language etc.. I try hard today not to let that happen.But it has and will again.What I want to say is I hope you will stay.I think you are needed here. Hey Matt, That doctor Phill thing,,,,,now that did make me laugh ..