Ya'll. The inspiration that I have gotten from this is too much for words. I could knit it, perhaps...
THANK YOU for all of the wonderful responses. I see that yellow pancreas in my head when this person opens his pie hole.
Also, I have decided against the knitting needle resolution...I like my knitting needles. It would take forever to clean them off. And crochet hooks also...that would probably take longer because of the hook...to clean. I like my crochet hooks and use them too often.
The post it note idea is inspirational as well.
Thank you to everyone who responded to this. I hadn't posted a response before now because every time I did, I ended up rereading what you all wrote and laughing until I cried.