I think I have binge eating disorder

I currently weigh 152 pounds, an average weight number and a healthy one. However, i am still in the 99th percentile and don’t like the way i appear in the mirror. i am not athletic and i do not regularly exercise. i am taking taekwondo with my dad one night a week at our ymca gym. i would like to lose weight but part of what’s holding me back is my inconsistent motivation and my emotions. i am an emotional eater. for at least two months, i had made good progress with my health and managed to lose 5 pounds and drop my A1C to 7.7. i was very discouraged when i visited my diabetes caretaker last week and was told my A1C had climbed to 8.5, for reasons some out of my control. still, i took the blame and cracked down on myself, and i let my emotions get to me and the past couple of days i have spent overeating. i’m seeking support outside my family since i am not comfortable sharing with them. i’d like a healthy lifestyle change that i can depend on for the rest of my life, not a fad diet that keeps my weight and A1C fluctuating. i eat very healthy when i’m not overeating but i need this to stop and i need help learning to exercise regularly. please anyone who might know a thing or two about this and would like to continue to update me and talk to me let me know. my mom also overeats and i need outside help. thank you :slight_smile:

I’ve been there when I was younger…I felt like I “deserved” to eat badly and without boundaries sometimes because at least I took my shots. Well, it doesn’t really matter what we feel we deserve, because unfortunately food in uncontrolled amounts is destructive to our blood sugar management and our bodies over time.

If possible, try to figure out some things to indulge yourself that are not food-related. How about watching a favorite comedy movie that everyone else hates but you love? Or a hot bubble bath? Video games or coloring books? One of my favorite cheer-up things is to go to a park and play on the swing. I’m in my 40’s so I look silly, but I don’t care because it perks me up every time.

But with that said, there are times when you just want to cheer yourself up with food because it feels good and is comforting. That’s OK within reason once in a while, but you have to keep your head on straight or you will only feel worse about yourself afterwards. Identify the foods you crave in these situations. Do you want some french fries? A pint of ice cream? Or dive into a bag of chips without counting them out? As we know, portion control is huge with this disease, so at least if you know how much carb is in whatever it is you want to binge on, chances are you will come out of it OK. Select foods where you have a solid carb count on the label in case you go through the whole thing, and dose yourself accordingly. You can buy those bags of chips and cookies that are kind of medium-sized and not too teeny. Check your BG after an hour or two to make sure you’re not going too high or low. Hope these suggestions help you feel like you can indulge that feeling yet not go over the top and still keep your BG managed.

Thank you @angivan for your comment! Sometimes my willpower is not very strong, but now that i have this advice, at least i’ll know what to do in one of these situations! now i just need someone to hold me accountable besides myself sometimes. the craving can be very strong and if it is an actual disorder i might need a little outside help.

On the regular exercise side of your question, one thing that helped me to start exercising regularly was being part of a group. About 6 years ago I started taking Zumba classes. Over time, I got to know some of the people in the class and we talked regularly about our weight struggles (no one else was diabetic, but this helped with the rest of my weight struggle). A bunch of us joined a support group at the facility that held the classes and eventually moved on from just taking Zumba classes to doing more intense stuff–weight training classes, boot camp style classes, etc.

My point is to find a group of people (or even ONE person) that support you in your goal and work with you–someone that can say “hey–I didn’t see you at class last week–where were you?”. These can be people you currently know or maybe you can find a group at your local gym/fitness studio like I did. Someone who makes it more fun to show up and do what you came to do.

Good Luck!