Depression with diabetes

I’m 15 years old , I was diagnosed when I was 9 years old . Ive became depressed from family problems and ever since my dad and my grandpa passed. Because of that it’s been hard to care for myself and now my Alc sucks , I’ve tried so many times to care about myself but I end up messing it up. I have bad health problems already from other things , so I’m worried what’s ganna happen to me if I don’t get the help I need . I go to therapy but I don’t feel like I’m getting what I want out of it. I feel like I’m more focused on school or I’m more focused on taking care of myself and right now I’ve been more focused on school because my Exams are this week and all I want to do is go to the next grade level . But also I cant take my driving class until I get my a1c down . Even though I’m scared to drive anyways because I get distracted to easily and I flip out so I don’t want to crash on the road or anything. I just want to not always feel like I’m not getting anywhere because of a diesease I never asked for . Everyone I’m around acts like life is so hard and they have a perfect life and I understand people have it worse than me but like i don’t even know.

Hi @hoop_em, I hear with you, sorry to hear about your father and grandfather and I can relate to an “empty and missing them” feeling. Those around you, including your therapist, will never really understand what it is to live constantly and continuously with diabetes until they develop this curse; even diabetes specialist doctors can not really relate. Up until a few years ago I was regularly seeing an endocrinologist who I thought was one of the best I’ve had during 60+ years of my diabetes but after he had an organ transplant which gave him diabetes he told me that in 30+ years of practice he didn’t understand difficult it is to live with diabetes until he got it. That’s me, so now to you.
Kind of forget about your A1c [yes, it is important] and concentrate more on living your life as best you can - when you start really living your life, managing the ups and down including the pressure and stress of your exams you may find that your A1c will reflect you feeling better about yourself. The A1c is a good measure [I was a participant in its development] but it is “only” a report card of your average Body Glucose Level [BGL] over a period of about 2,100 hours; different PWD have different ideal A1c targets.
You are very right focussing on school but also give yourself time to get outside for some activity - you can always think about that paper you need to write or solve a math problem while running or walking - in my working life when I had to write a position paper I’d often go for a walk, after doing research, to formulate in my head what I’d put on paper.
Message me any time if you want to talk. Diabetes can be managed to fit complex lifestyles; into your life.

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I definitely understand the diabetes/depression mix. When I was in high school my A1C was so out of control. But it does get better. It’s easy to be so stressed out about it but it’s just a number. More importantly try to eat healthy and exercise and just do the best you can. Nobody will understand unless if they are dealing with it everyday like we do. Just try to take some time for yourself each day, forget about the diabetes and just live. Do something you want to do, don’t let the diabetes define you. That was my biggest mistake and I’m still working on that. Who I am comes first, diabetes is just a small part of me and it shouldn’t define me.

Hi. I had problems in high school with my diabetes too. Remember, at your age your body is going through physical changes which can affect your blood sugars. So, I agree with Dennis, don’t focus so much on your A1c. Take it one day at a time. If you see any patterns of highs or lows at certain times of the day, talk to your diabetes doc about them. He/she should be able to help you with that information.
I too was in counseling. I saw one doc who put all the blame on me. Made me feel really bad about myself and didn’t listen to anything I had to say. So, I switched to a counselor who blamed everything on my parents. While I agreed with some of the things she said, I didn’t agree with everything, and so, I found another doctor. This one, along with a new endocrine, really helped me see things clearer. I guess what I’m trying to say is, if the therapy is not helping, perhaps you might want to try a different therapist.
That’s my thoughts. I hope it helps you some. Take care of yourself, and let us know how you’re doing. We’re all rooting for you!

Pam K
T1D 53+ yrs and counting!

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